Why Can't We Be Friends?

In 1975 the musical group WAR came out with the song "Why Can't We Be Friends."  During our time as expats too often I/we have thought "why can't we have friends?"  We have been fortunate to meet neighbors, parents of our son's classmates, etc. but with my wife working long hours it has been virtually impossible to socialize during the week.  Weekends are often spent catching up on much needed rest and/or taking care of the last errands of the week.

Being a non-traditional trailing spouse does not make things easier.  There are many groups and activities for ladies during the day, but not so for men as most men are at work.  The times I have been invited to and attended coffee time after dropping the kids off at school I felt uncomfortable.  The last year we were in Norway there was a small group for stay-at-home-dads; even though we met only a few times at least there were some familiar faces at school functions.

My/our story is/was not all bleak.  We did get together with some friends, just not as often as we would have liked and with a concentrated effort to coordinate suitable times.  I did make acquaintances with neighbors, grocery store personnel and people at the gym.  These acquaintances may not have been close friends but I had a few adults to speak to or greet as we passed each other in the shopping center.  As I/we learn more French I/we will be able to take advantage of available clubs, events, etc.

Our situation with friends has reminded us of two truths.  Firstly if you want to make friends you can't wait for people to call on you, you have to be willing to step out and make the effort to meet others.  The second truth is that when you don't know anyone you come to rely on each other and the family unit grows in strength.